when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
