ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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