I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
