Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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