This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
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Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
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I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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