He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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