Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
