There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
