I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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