but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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