Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
