if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok