im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
