I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
