im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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