Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
