he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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