We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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