My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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