woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize