all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
