Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
