How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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