Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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