I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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