Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Green mimosas i think yes
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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