So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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