Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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