This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
