remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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