Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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