Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
