Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
