I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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