I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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