This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
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Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
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I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.