Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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