My Higher Power is John Stamos
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
