Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
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So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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