Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
