The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
