Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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