he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
