i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize