What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
