is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
