i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
