SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
This is my gift to your gina
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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