Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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