Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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