listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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