Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
