he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
