Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
