Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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